help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We are all done wearing pants today
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize