He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
