Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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