I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
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Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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