True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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