That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
