Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
