Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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