Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
