whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
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You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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