you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
