no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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