i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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