you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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