I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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