addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
