I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
are you so shy because you have an std?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
