I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
