We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
