He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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