fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
