There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Michael Bay diarrhea
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
