At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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