We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
