when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
