i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
