Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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