oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
