Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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