It's like God shit irony all over that family
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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