It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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