Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize