Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
