I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
