Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
