Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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