Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
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You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
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I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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