Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
