I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
