That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize