My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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