My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
