It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
