When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
