You're completely useless in the revolution.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
