Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
