I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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