is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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