Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
