You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
