just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize