Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
