If that was your dad, he is hot
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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