Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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