For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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