her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
