like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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