It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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