So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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