And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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