At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
