While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
