I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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